My name is Dara Alizabeth Crouch....and I am a scared little girl

It is officially 1 week away from my first half marathon. I know I have prepared myself for this with the training program I went through, but for some reason I still feel very unprepared. I know I can do it though. I did a 12 mile run and even though I was hurting around mile 11 and could hardly walk when I was done because of my knee I was able to finish running....so even if I have to walk the last mile...I will be ok with that! I haven't had any problems since with my knee so hopefully it was a one time thing. I am also hoping that the adrenaline and atmosphere  will get me through those last few miles. I know from this point on its just a mental game. I am no stranger to mental games.....I have been through nursing school....it took me 3 hours to take my boards to get my license. I had to answer all 265 questions....that was a mental challenge. I know that I can physically do it...I have already done 12...at this point 1 more mile is just another mile. I know.....you dont have to tell me....I know I have lost my mind.
Part of the solider Marathon is choosing someone to run in honor of to put on your bib. I did want to choose someone off a list that I dont know or have any connection too. I have a friend I grew up with in Ft. Riley, before we moved back here permanently. Our fathers were both in the Army. He is now serving as a MP in the army stationed in Germany. He was serving with is best friend in 2011 when he was killed in action. His name was SPC Jordan Shuchmann. He also left behind a wife and a now 1 year old son. He died before his son was born. He never got to meet his son. So that is who I am putting on my bib.

This week at work has been rough. All I can say is I am happy to know a god that is merciful, and shows us grace even is the worst of situations. I happy that pray puts me at peace. My doctors dont know it (I think I have told one) but I pray the instant they come in the room for a delivery/epidural. I pray over my patients when my baby is looking bad....I pray a lot. Mostly because once I have done everything I can from the outside thats all I CAN do at that point. So happy I can depend on that is a sticky situation.

I have my 3 month check up with the hematologist this week. Praying everything is pretty much the same....but hopefully a little better.

I am currently, as I type, drinking my last coke for this week. After today its 2 liters of water a day. Only good food....no fast food. I can't have anything holding me down. I got one more run before next week. EEKK!!

Congratulations to my friends Camille and Stobhan who finish their first Half Marathon in Savannah today. They both finish in just under 2:15.....which is fantastic! I know I am going to be at least 45 slower then that....but to be honest I don't really care about the time! I just want to finish alive!!
Hope everyone has a good week! Don't forget, change your clocks tonight an your president on Tuesday!! Hope this doesn't offend anyone...just my stance! But honestly, whoever you vote for, just get out and vote! It's part of our American duty and like my mother says "If you don't vote you can't complain!"

For no reason at all

So I am about 5 weeks away....exactly 38 days away from my half marathon...38 days 27 hrs 36 min and 10 secs. =) Getting the runs in every week have been difficult, annoying, and frustrating. I am not a morning person so it has been hard getting up early before it starts getting to hot....then getting them in around my work schedule......On the days I have off I just dont want to do anything...I know I am complaining. I shouldn't be...I no children so I really dont have an excuse. It's still exhausting though. The good news is it does seem to be getting easier. Today on my run I took it as a time to have church on the trail....I listen to my worship music for a straight hour. It was wonderful. No pressure, no one to keep up with.

This Saturday....if you can't find me....its because I collapsed on the trail.....probably  somewhere between mile 9-11. We are up to 12 miles....Whoa. 10 miles really intimidated me....but somehow I got through it. So at this point what is 2 more miles, right?? Yeah that's what I said too. "Dara, YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MIND!!!" You dont have to tell me, I already know.

I have 3 more bi-weekly blood draws for my ITP and my appointment with the hematologist. Going there every 2 weeks is really getting old, but I'm glad it doesn't take very long. Last week I had to go after work. I had 2 hours of sleep in 24 hrs. I fell asleep in the waiting room. The nurse had to come wake me up!!! Embarrassing!! I am so ready to have these over with!

I have a love hate relationship with football season. I love going to a football game, watching football on tv (one game a weekend is enough for me). I love the fall weather, and the bands. I hate that thats ALL Eric wants on the TV for the WHOLE weekend. I hate that people make such a HUGE deal over the team they go for, and like to start stuff with others over a GAME!! I watch it, I love it, but it does not make my life better or worse, nor will my life be impacted in any way it they win or lose.

Knox chewed up my favorite pair of socks......thanks man

I have to work the next 3 nights! So thankful to have a job.

We booked our trip to New York!!!! AHHHH!!!!! SO excited!!! 2 months! Can't wait to discover a kinda new place with Eric (I have been twice) A little nervous about how much it is costing us, but I know it will be worth it because we will never forget, or get to go back like this again. Plus its going to be decorated for Christmas! Can't wait to check somethings off our bucket list!  YAY!!

I love the beach, but I couldn't live there

I love the beach, but I couldn't live there. A few days every year does me good. I love the feeling of being on the beach. I love the sun and the sounds and the birds and the GREAT nap I get after coming in from the beach...but I could live there because 

• my hair looks crappy the ENTIRE time I was there. Nothing I did made it look better.....I went around with crappy looking hair the whole time I was there.
• The sand seems to never leave.....doesn't matter how much I wash. I love it at the beach...I just wish it would stay there.  
• Carrying everything down to the beach....and then carrying it all back up...the bag, the umbrella, the cooler, the chairs....and thats just us....I have no idea what we are going to do when that includes children.
• The way you smell when you come in.....I can't stand it. I got to take a shower almost immediately 
• The sand everywhere.....
• The water taste nasty. 
• I forgot things that would have made our stay better.....cereal, butter, sugar, flashlight, box fan, coffee filters, and a float, my running shoes (I didn't know there would be such nice sidewalks to run on)

At least I will have a better idea on what to bring next time. And learn to get over what my hair looks like, because it just is not  happening. Plus they decided to cut the AC off in the condo at midnight on Monday....really.....glad we left that day.  On the flip side at least I got some quality time with my husband....of course he couldn't leave the football in Columbus. But it was time alone that we haven't had in a while.

I have to run 10 miles on Saturday......whoa. Every time the milage gets higher the rationalizing part of my brain says "this is crazy....why are you doing this.....you can't do this....10 miles....ares you kidding me..." The reality is 6 months ago I couldn't get up the road to the stop sign with out wanting to pass out....and now I am running 10 miles (let me take this time to correct myself...I run/walk 10 miles. I can't run flat out 10 miles without stopping....that is not happening.) The most I have done up to this point is 8 miles......So I know 10 is not impossible. In 2 weeks I will have to do 12....which is 1 mile away from the 13.1.....Again....this is crazy. I have officially gone crazy. 

9/11

I am pretty sure I shared my 9/11 story last year on this day, so I won't share it in full again. But like many others, I can remember exactly where I was, who I was with, and how that day has changed my life and this country forever. I remember the terror on my teachers face, which first clued me into the fact that this was no accident. I remember the shock as I watched on live tv as the second plane hit the WTC, and watching them later fall on live tv, my teacher turning off the tv unable to teach that day.
 At the age of 13 I had no idea what the word "terrorist"  meant. I had to ask my teacher.  But I was old enough to know that as a daughter of an active duty solider any attack on the US, especially one on US soil, meant war. I never thought I would be in my 20's and we would still be fighting that same war.  I was lucky that my dad did not have to fight this war. He served out his career in the Army by training soldiers to fight in desert conditions. For that I am thankful. I have, however, had friends that have served in this war, one who lost 4 of his best friends. I thank him, my friend from high school Micha Chandler, and all the others who have served our country so selflessly. Please, no matter what your political stance, thank and support our soldiers. People have told me before that our military is a "volunteer" army and no one makes them join. But if they didn't "choose" to join our boys wouldn't have a choice.
Also thank you to all the firefighters and police who serve and protect us in our cities.  God Bless Amaerica!!!

Tuesday Thoughts....

I spent my Labor day in the rain.....the POURING down rain.....covered in dye....with my friend.
I would like to take this time and thank my co-workers for, once again, talking me into something that is supposed to "fun" that ended up being not so fun....I need to stop listening to them. I am still having nightmares of the river at Mud Mania.  It was one of those "sounded like a good idea at the time" moments.
Some of us at work did The Color Run in Birmingham. It was suppose to be "fun". They even call is "the happiest 5k on the planet".....it was more like "the biggest wet t-shirt contest on the planet" Unfortunately because it was raining so bad I dont have any pictures to show you. We didnt want to risk our phones in the rain.  It wasn't pretty. I am sure, if it would not have been storming, it would have been alot of fun. I could have even had fun in a drizzle, But the pouring down rain, changing my wet clothes in the parking lot behind a towel, and riding home with no dry undergarments in my reach....not my idea of fun. But like I said, rain aside...it could have been fun and we would have stayed to enjoy it because they had music and dancing and pictures and all that cool stuff, and maybe in my younger years I might have not cared. But I embraced the rain long enough to endure the run it self and got the heck out of there! Thanks again to the Reeds (Camille's bro and sister-in-law) for letting me spend the weekend with them and their families! It was so sweet of them to let me stay with them in their new home.

I have had an interesting week at work, although I can't go into details there is never a dull moment in L&D....totally lives up to my favorite quote from the ever famous Dr. Malone  "Labor and Delivery consist of hours of bordom followed by sheer moments of terror" totally describes my work week. Even after 2 years I am still trying to learn to let things go when it comes to my patients, and just be the best nurse I can be for them.

Eric started with his new class about month ago. He has a cute little class that already loves him....he has already come home with some stories and sickness. To which he so kindly passed on to me.

I am still in the midst of my half marathon training. Due to me being very sick last week I only got 2 runs in because I couldn't get out of bed except to go to work. We are suppose to do 8 miles on saturday.....I am scared, but trying to mentally prepare myself. I know it has to be done to make it to 13.1. I still shudder every time I say "13.1" Again....Sometimes I have no idea what I was thinking. But alas! I have paid, so I will run.....or die while doing it!

 I just have to say, that I can not stand when people feel the need to correct your spelling on Facebook.....it REALLY annoys me. I know I am not a good speller, or what I type may not always be grammatically correct....but there is such a thing as auto correct on my phone that sometimes takes over my typing and I dont double check before posting.....also last time I checked I graduated college 2.5 years ago and I am not writing a college paper...And yes I did got to college so I should be grammatically correct and know how to spell....but last time I checked I got a degree in nursing, not teaching. Plus, may I add that my "New Teacher of the Year" husband misspelled a word on our Christmas card last year...it happens is my point. To everyone. So stop. Or I will delete you :)...Just saying. If it annoys you that much, just hide me. Wheew.....glad I got that off my chest! I feel better now.

I must now get up and unpack from this weekend and do some laundry. Hope everyone had a safe labor day!!! One the bright side most of you only have 4 work days this week....I still only have 3 ;) they joys of being a nurse!

Fill in the blank Friday....on Monday...as usual

I always forget to go look at Lauren's blog on Friday to fill out the blanks...So I always end up do this on Monday. Typical. 

So here they are!

1.  I am   a Jesus follower, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a nurse, cupcake lover  .

2.   I have always    loved going new places. It must come from all the traveling I did as a child. It's the Army brat in me  .

3.  I hope to    one day be a mommy.

4. I can    take my arms linked behind my back and bring them to the front without disconnecting them...true story. I can delivery a baby

5. I dream of    being a mom, having a wonderful relationship with my children taking them places and doing things with them, and running a marathon.

6. The way to my heart is   through acts of service. I love it when I come home knowing there is stuff that I have to get done and Eric has already done it.

7.  I am passionate about   my job. I may complain about it, or have a bad day, but I LOVE what I do. I love being able to give new mommies the birth experience they dreamed of. I thank them for allowing me to be apart of such a special part of their lives .

26 things

Eric's birthday is Saturday! He will be 26...hard to believe we have been together since he was 18....almost 10 years!! Wow! So for Eric's birthday I am going to write 26 things I love about him! I am doing it today because I work tonight and will probably forget tomorrow =)

26. He has gotten better about trying new foods and new places to eat.
25. He watched all of my trashy tv with me (he even gets into it sometime)
24. He takes care of all the icky stuff around the house that I can't stand to do (ie trash, dishes, bugs)
23. He mows the grass.
22. He is decent at a few different sports, which is good because I want our kids to be well rounded.
21. He loves Disney world
20. If there is a deal to be made, Eric can find a way to make it. He is great to take when you are buying a car, or tv
19. When I was in high school he came to all 4 of my dinner theatre shows, and most of the football games. He even wore a shirt that said " I am with the white girl on Color Guard" to all the football games. It was pretty much the coolest shirt ever!
18. He likes my 3rd love.....Harry Potter. He will watch them over, and over, and over again with me.
17. He cried the day we got married =)
16. He will find the good in someone before the bad
15. He gives people the benefit of the doubt.
14. He goes through phases with food...its funny to me. Oreos, chocolate chip cookies, wheat thins, swiss cake rolls ect....right now its chocolate milk =)
13. Eric has a totall "go big or go home" attitude.....he cant do something small. It has to be bigger and better then everything else
12. He only excepts the top of the line...this can be a good or a bad thing
11. He pretty stylish
10. He can grill pretty much anything
9. He loves our Knox and Ellie...and they love him
8. He always tells me dinner is good...unless its just not
7. He is a morning person....lord knows one of us has to be
6. He can't wait to be a daddy
5. He can make me laugh...no matter what.
4. He can pretty much talk to ANYONE! Which can come in handy sometimes
3. He loves children....and they love him
2. He loves his parents
1. He loves Jesus, and prays for our family all the time.

extra for good luck: He helps people remember the most important times in their lives through his pictures.

There you go!! Happy Birthday Eric! Hope you have a wonderful day!!