Thirteen Point Freaking One!!

So for the past 3 months (July 28th to be exact) I embarked on a journey that I thought, in my head, was crazy and impossible. I started "running" merely out of peer pressure and the secret want to be a runner.

So two friends of mine (Leia and Casey) convinced me to go to this Jeff Galloway (olympian marathoner and runner guru....look him up...hes pretty genius) and Soldier Marathon information meeting. Long story short that meeting inspired us and made it all sound do able so they signed up that night. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had to think about it. 13.1 was crazy to me. I could hardly get through a mile now....the 2 5ks I had done I thought I was going to die! But something clicked and I decided to sign up.

When I did the girl asked me if I could run 3 miles...I kinda laughed in her face cause the true answer was no....But I could run/walk 3 miles....I took me a while....but I could do it.
So on July 28 my two friends and I met the group down on the river walk to run our 3 miles. It was hard....but I wasn't exhausted like I had been before! Ok...I CAN do this. Another long story short Casey couldn't make it because they wouldn't let her bring her stroller and Leia got hurt....So both of the stinkers that got me into this dropped out!! I still love them though! But I was so bummed.
I was forced to meet new people and depend on them for encouragement and conversation during the runs. They were a GREAT group of women though! Very encouraging and knowledgable and a "were going to finish this together" attitude! Love them!

So as the weeks progressed the miles increased. I hit a serious "wall" right before we increased to 10 miles
-I dont want to do this anymore
-this is crazy.....everyone thinks im crazy
-ugghh i hate this
-how did I get into this again
- but its too hot to run
- I'm not as good as everyone else and always come in last
-I suck at this
-This sucks
But then I did it!!! And it sucked!!! But I did it!!! I was further inspired....plus the weather got colder....that helped. But I knew if I could finish 10....I could get to 12....and if I could get to 12.....whats one more mile!! I was going to do this!!

So race week comes. My friends and family were planing to come....so I had no choice at this point. Luckly I had to work Wednesday and Thursday so that occupied my mind a little.
Friday I went and picked up my bib and packet. Eric had a wedding so I went and picked up some pasta at Olive Garden (probably not the best choice but its what I wanted) and went home and watched some tv, got my stuff out  and called it a night.
I slept well that night which was a blessing. I woke up at 5 (almost threw up in my mouth. Way too early!) ate some toast and half a banana. Got dressed and was pulling Eric out the door.

Got to the infantry museum and found a parking spot around 6:45. Found my running group and made our way to the start line.  We left and turned on to Ft. Benning. This was my favorite part. There was one or 2 soldiers every so often, drill sargeants lined up the hills with their drill sergeant like voices to get you up the hill. Some where around 6 miles I started to feel bad... cramping and out of breath. I stopped a sec to take off my shirt and re strap my phone. This is where I went wrong. I lost my group and started freaking about about catching up and the fear of having to do the rest of this alone! Handed my clothes off to Eric and kept going. Had to calm my self down, but keep going at the same time. When I nervous I start talking to myself.
-Oh crap.....They are way ahead of me....oh crap
- Where's the next water station
- I can't feel my hands....
-I hate this
- Wheres the beep so I can walk
-Why am I doing this again???
-Wheres the next mile marker??
-Oh there it is....did it say 8....crap!
-I want a coke
-I hate this
-I can't feel my hands
- Wheres the beep??
-This minute is lasting an hour
-Just how do you set fire to the rain??
-OMG I just dropped my cup of water ( I had to ask this poor guy to poor water into my mouth because my hands were SO frozen I couldn't hold my water....I know...how embarrassing!)
-did I really just ask that guy to pour water in my mouth????....poor guy....
-Did that just say 9......CRAP!!!
- I want a coke
-I can't feel my hands
-Where's the beep??
-Where do we turn around
-I bet Casey is already done....(she was :)
-I hate this....I HATE running
-I'm so hungry
- PTL there is the turn around!!
- I am NEVER doing this again
-Where's the water??
-I dont think Taylor Swift EVER wants to get back together....like EVER
-Did that just say 12....OMG that just said 12....
-Hey...I can feel my hands....GREAT
-Forget the beep....Im running the last mile
-Forget that....I'm walking
-I CANNOT let these two old guys beat me!!

My sweet friends were waiting for me...I felt like a loser when I realized they had been waiting there for an hour!!! Casey finished in 2 hrs!! Go Casey!! Shes amazing! But I finished!! And 2 seconds under my goal!! It was awesome! I was crying because I was in so much pain and I couldn't believe I had just finished something I never though I would ever do. But then I was delirious....I was SOOO hungry and in so much pain I din't know if I was happy or mad. I didn't like any of the food they had but I DID manage to find a COKE!!
In the end I was so glad I did it. Everyone ask me if I will do another one (probably because I complained so much!) and the answer is yes. I dont know exactly when, depends on what the next year brings... but eventually I will.
If anyone is a new runner or never really have done much more then a 5k I highly recommend the Columbus Galloway program. Its a run walk program and it worked beautifully for me! It made the whole thing do able and manageable. I would have been able to do it otherwise.
I have found a new love in running. It's definitely a challenge...maybe thats why I love it so much! But right now I really need a massage!!!
Cant forget to mention that a part of this run was running in honor of a fallen soldier. I ran in honor of Jordan Schumann who is best friends with a childhood friend of mine who was KIA in 2011. He left behind a wife and a unborn son at the time. I prayed for them multiple times through out the run....knowing that I am lucky enough to be able to run. It was an honor to run for someone who served our country in the most honorable way.
As for a marathon.....ummm....no.... not right now!

My name is Dara Alizabeth Crouch....and I am a scared little girl

It is officially 1 week away from my first half marathon. I know I have prepared myself for this with the training program I went through, but for some reason I still feel very unprepared. I know I can do it though. I did a 12 mile run and even though I was hurting around mile 11 and could hardly walk when I was done because of my knee I was able to finish running....so even if I have to walk the last mile...I will be ok with that! I haven't had any problems since with my knee so hopefully it was a one time thing. I am also hoping that the adrenaline and atmosphere  will get me through those last few miles. I know from this point on its just a mental game. I am no stranger to mental games.....I have been through nursing school....it took me 3 hours to take my boards to get my license. I had to answer all 265 questions....that was a mental challenge. I know that I can physically do it...I have already done 12...at this point 1 more mile is just another mile. I know.....you dont have to tell me....I know I have lost my mind.
Part of the solider Marathon is choosing someone to run in honor of to put on your bib. I did want to choose someone off a list that I dont know or have any connection too. I have a friend I grew up with in Ft. Riley, before we moved back here permanently. Our fathers were both in the Army. He is now serving as a MP in the army stationed in Germany. He was serving with is best friend in 2011 when he was killed in action. His name was SPC Jordan Shuchmann. He also left behind a wife and a now 1 year old son. He died before his son was born. He never got to meet his son. So that is who I am putting on my bib.

This week at work has been rough. All I can say is I am happy to know a god that is merciful, and shows us grace even is the worst of situations. I happy that pray puts me at peace. My doctors dont know it (I think I have told one) but I pray the instant they come in the room for a delivery/epidural. I pray over my patients when my baby is looking bad....I pray a lot. Mostly because once I have done everything I can from the outside thats all I CAN do at that point. So happy I can depend on that is a sticky situation.

I have my 3 month check up with the hematologist this week. Praying everything is pretty much the same....but hopefully a little better.

I am currently, as I type, drinking my last coke for this week. After today its 2 liters of water a day. Only good food....no fast food. I can't have anything holding me down. I got one more run before next week. EEKK!!

Congratulations to my friends Camille and Stobhan who finish their first Half Marathon in Savannah today. They both finish in just under 2:15.....which is fantastic! I know I am going to be at least 45 slower then that....but to be honest I don't really care about the time! I just want to finish alive!!
Hope everyone has a good week! Don't forget, change your clocks tonight an your president on Tuesday!! Hope this doesn't offend anyone...just my stance! But honestly, whoever you vote for, just get out and vote! It's part of our American duty and like my mother says "If you don't vote you can't complain!"

For no reason at all

So I am about 5 weeks away....exactly 38 days away from my half marathon...38 days 27 hrs 36 min and 10 secs. =) Getting the runs in every week have been difficult, annoying, and frustrating. I am not a morning person so it has been hard getting up early before it starts getting to hot....then getting them in around my work schedule......On the days I have off I just dont want to do anything...I know I am complaining. I shouldn't be...I no children so I really dont have an excuse. It's still exhausting though. The good news is it does seem to be getting easier. Today on my run I took it as a time to have church on the trail....I listen to my worship music for a straight hour. It was wonderful. No pressure, no one to keep up with.

This Saturday....if you can't find me....its because I collapsed on the trail.....probably  somewhere between mile 9-11. We are up to 12 miles....Whoa. 10 miles really intimidated me....but somehow I got through it. So at this point what is 2 more miles, right?? Yeah that's what I said too. "Dara, YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MIND!!!" You dont have to tell me, I already know.

I have 3 more bi-weekly blood draws for my ITP and my appointment with the hematologist. Going there every 2 weeks is really getting old, but I'm glad it doesn't take very long. Last week I had to go after work. I had 2 hours of sleep in 24 hrs. I fell asleep in the waiting room. The nurse had to come wake me up!!! Embarrassing!! I am so ready to have these over with!

I have a love hate relationship with football season. I love going to a football game, watching football on tv (one game a weekend is enough for me). I love the fall weather, and the bands. I hate that thats ALL Eric wants on the TV for the WHOLE weekend. I hate that people make such a HUGE deal over the team they go for, and like to start stuff with others over a GAME!! I watch it, I love it, but it does not make my life better or worse, nor will my life be impacted in any way it they win or lose.

Knox chewed up my favorite pair of socks......thanks man

I have to work the next 3 nights! So thankful to have a job.

We booked our trip to New York!!!! AHHHH!!!!! SO excited!!! 2 months! Can't wait to discover a kinda new place with Eric (I have been twice) A little nervous about how much it is costing us, but I know it will be worth it because we will never forget, or get to go back like this again. Plus its going to be decorated for Christmas! Can't wait to check somethings off our bucket list!  YAY!!

I love the beach, but I couldn't live there

I love the beach, but I couldn't live there. A few days every year does me good. I love the feeling of being on the beach. I love the sun and the sounds and the birds and the GREAT nap I get after coming in from the beach...but I could live there because 

• my hair looks crappy the ENTIRE time I was there. Nothing I did made it look better.....I went around with crappy looking hair the whole time I was there.
• The sand seems to never leave.....doesn't matter how much I wash. I love it at the beach...I just wish it would stay there.  
• Carrying everything down to the beach....and then carrying it all back up...the bag, the umbrella, the cooler, the chairs....and thats just us....I have no idea what we are going to do when that includes children.
• The way you smell when you come in.....I can't stand it. I got to take a shower almost immediately 
• The sand everywhere.....
• The water taste nasty. 
• I forgot things that would have made our stay better.....cereal, butter, sugar, flashlight, box fan, coffee filters, and a float, my running shoes (I didn't know there would be such nice sidewalks to run on)

At least I will have a better idea on what to bring next time. And learn to get over what my hair looks like, because it just is not  happening. Plus they decided to cut the AC off in the condo at midnight on Monday....really.....glad we left that day.  On the flip side at least I got some quality time with my husband....of course he couldn't leave the football in Columbus. But it was time alone that we haven't had in a while.

I have to run 10 miles on Saturday......whoa. Every time the milage gets higher the rationalizing part of my brain says "this is crazy....why are you doing this.....you can't do this....10 miles....ares you kidding me..." The reality is 6 months ago I couldn't get up the road to the stop sign with out wanting to pass out....and now I am running 10 miles (let me take this time to correct myself...I run/walk 10 miles. I can't run flat out 10 miles without stopping....that is not happening.) The most I have done up to this point is 8 miles......So I know 10 is not impossible. In 2 weeks I will have to do 12....which is 1 mile away from the 13.1.....Again....this is crazy. I have officially gone crazy. 

9/11

I am pretty sure I shared my 9/11 story last year on this day, so I won't share it in full again. But like many others, I can remember exactly where I was, who I was with, and how that day has changed my life and this country forever. I remember the terror on my teachers face, which first clued me into the fact that this was no accident. I remember the shock as I watched on live tv as the second plane hit the WTC, and watching them later fall on live tv, my teacher turning off the tv unable to teach that day.
 At the age of 13 I had no idea what the word "terrorist"  meant. I had to ask my teacher.  But I was old enough to know that as a daughter of an active duty solider any attack on the US, especially one on US soil, meant war. I never thought I would be in my 20's and we would still be fighting that same war.  I was lucky that my dad did not have to fight this war. He served out his career in the Army by training soldiers to fight in desert conditions. For that I am thankful. I have, however, had friends that have served in this war, one who lost 4 of his best friends. I thank him, my friend from high school Micha Chandler, and all the others who have served our country so selflessly. Please, no matter what your political stance, thank and support our soldiers. People have told me before that our military is a "volunteer" army and no one makes them join. But if they didn't "choose" to join our boys wouldn't have a choice.
Also thank you to all the firefighters and police who serve and protect us in our cities.  God Bless Amaerica!!!

Tuesday Thoughts....

I spent my Labor day in the rain.....the POURING down rain.....covered in dye....with my friend.
I would like to take this time and thank my co-workers for, once again, talking me into something that is supposed to "fun" that ended up being not so fun....I need to stop listening to them. I am still having nightmares of the river at Mud Mania.  It was one of those "sounded like a good idea at the time" moments.
Some of us at work did The Color Run in Birmingham. It was suppose to be "fun". They even call is "the happiest 5k on the planet".....it was more like "the biggest wet t-shirt contest on the planet" Unfortunately because it was raining so bad I dont have any pictures to show you. We didnt want to risk our phones in the rain.  It wasn't pretty. I am sure, if it would not have been storming, it would have been alot of fun. I could have even had fun in a drizzle, But the pouring down rain, changing my wet clothes in the parking lot behind a towel, and riding home with no dry undergarments in my reach....not my idea of fun. But like I said, rain aside...it could have been fun and we would have stayed to enjoy it because they had music and dancing and pictures and all that cool stuff, and maybe in my younger years I might have not cared. But I embraced the rain long enough to endure the run it self and got the heck out of there! Thanks again to the Reeds (Camille's bro and sister-in-law) for letting me spend the weekend with them and their families! It was so sweet of them to let me stay with them in their new home.

I have had an interesting week at work, although I can't go into details there is never a dull moment in L&D....totally lives up to my favorite quote from the ever famous Dr. Malone  "Labor and Delivery consist of hours of bordom followed by sheer moments of terror" totally describes my work week. Even after 2 years I am still trying to learn to let things go when it comes to my patients, and just be the best nurse I can be for them.

Eric started with his new class about month ago. He has a cute little class that already loves him....he has already come home with some stories and sickness. To which he so kindly passed on to me.

I am still in the midst of my half marathon training. Due to me being very sick last week I only got 2 runs in because I couldn't get out of bed except to go to work. We are suppose to do 8 miles on saturday.....I am scared, but trying to mentally prepare myself. I know it has to be done to make it to 13.1. I still shudder every time I say "13.1" Again....Sometimes I have no idea what I was thinking. But alas! I have paid, so I will run.....or die while doing it!

 I just have to say, that I can not stand when people feel the need to correct your spelling on Facebook.....it REALLY annoys me. I know I am not a good speller, or what I type may not always be grammatically correct....but there is such a thing as auto correct on my phone that sometimes takes over my typing and I dont double check before posting.....also last time I checked I graduated college 2.5 years ago and I am not writing a college paper...And yes I did got to college so I should be grammatically correct and know how to spell....but last time I checked I got a degree in nursing, not teaching. Plus, may I add that my "New Teacher of the Year" husband misspelled a word on our Christmas card last year...it happens is my point. To everyone. So stop. Or I will delete you :)...Just saying. If it annoys you that much, just hide me. Wheew.....glad I got that off my chest! I feel better now.

I must now get up and unpack from this weekend and do some laundry. Hope everyone had a safe labor day!!! One the bright side most of you only have 4 work days this week....I still only have 3 ;) they joys of being a nurse!

Fill in the blank Friday....on Monday...as usual

I always forget to go look at Lauren's blog on Friday to fill out the blanks...So I always end up do this on Monday. Typical. 

So here they are!

1.  I am   a Jesus follower, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a nurse, cupcake lover  .

2.   I have always    loved going new places. It must come from all the traveling I did as a child. It's the Army brat in me  .

3.  I hope to    one day be a mommy.

4. I can    take my arms linked behind my back and bring them to the front without disconnecting them...true story. I can delivery a baby

5. I dream of    being a mom, having a wonderful relationship with my children taking them places and doing things with them, and running a marathon.

6. The way to my heart is   through acts of service. I love it when I come home knowing there is stuff that I have to get done and Eric has already done it.

7.  I am passionate about   my job. I may complain about it, or have a bad day, but I LOVE what I do. I love being able to give new mommies the birth experience they dreamed of. I thank them for allowing me to be apart of such a special part of their lives .